Triggers, or annoying things people do that drive me crazy

I’ve been keeping a running list of things people do that annoy me to no end. I want to write a larger piece about this, but in the meantime, here’s the fodder…

People who believe the rules don’t apply to them. See: Asshole on the plane who refuses to put his phone into Airplane mode because “it doesn’t really matter.” Actually, d-bag, there are multiple reasons for asking people to turn their phones to airplane mode, if you’d bothered to find out. But no, those rules don’t apply to you. Let’s hope everyone doesn’t feel the same way one day and bring a plane down, just by being a jackass. I mean, would it kill you – to disconnect from your phone for like 20 minutes, and then you can get wifi and catch up on all the funny videos you missed that your friends posted on Facebook or you can, oh, I don’t know, be disconnected!

Women who don’t check the toilet seat after you pee. Listen ladies, I get it – maybe there was something on the seat when you got in, so then you had to squat, which only made matters worse. But clean it up! You’re going to wash your hands after anyway (aren’t you?) so what’s the harm in paying it forward? Also, why are y’all squatting in the first place? You know the likelihood of you catching something from a toilet seat is crazy low – and if you’re that paranoid, just put some TP down first. That’s what I do – only because I don’t want to sit on a wet seat! Again, clean the damned seat. Please.

People who think that their bodies smell best when bathed, fully, in cologne or perfume. You are wrong. Whomever told you that you smelled nice was lying. They actually couldn’t stand close to you any longer than to tell you that you smelled nice and walked away. You have a cloud of scent around you – imagine Pig-Pen from the Peanuts. This is you. Just because its cologne doesn’t make people any more likely to want to stand next to you. Opposite effect. Not to mention people who actually have bananas allergies to all the crazy chemicals that go into those body sprays (although, help me, I do miss finding a spray bottle of Jean Nate in my stocking at Christmas.)

That’s all for now but there are more brewing, I can feel it!